How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
