How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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