I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
