I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
