Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
