he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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