the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
