yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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