i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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