tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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