You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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