so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
