There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
