from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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