It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
