i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
