Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
