Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
