Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My first STD was from a foam party
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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