Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
