He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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