A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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