my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
