I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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