Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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