DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
