she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
