O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ok first of all what the fuck
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
