I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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