I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
