She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
