Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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