Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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