I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
