My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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