You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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