Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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