yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
