She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
