I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
