i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
