I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
