Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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