please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
