i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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