You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
