I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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