just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
