I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
