Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
