I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
