i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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